I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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