MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
