So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize