He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
