She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
