We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize