The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
