you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize