If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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