I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
