OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
