the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
