I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
