I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
