there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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