it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
