is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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