Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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