I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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