She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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