i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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