singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Randomize
