no, he came in my armpit
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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