forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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