You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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