How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
did you just send me my own nude
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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