Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize