Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
