Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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