I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
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Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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