wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We got so high we made milksteak
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
