So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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