You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
