Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
high people should be assigned attendants
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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