I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
