i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."