Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

We named our party play list daddy issues

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(314): View more from Missouri

What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house

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(917): View more from New York City

I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl

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(513): View more from Ohio

And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.

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(425): View more from Washington

The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting

(410): View more from Maryland

You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.

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