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• (710): View more from

  So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that

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• (352): View more from Florida

  I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  What did u do?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..

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• (409): View more from Texas

  I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?

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• (424): View more from California

  You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.

  (1-424): View more from California

  The hell is wrong with me

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.

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• (646): View more from New York

  Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.

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