when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?