I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
just found out that she named her cat after me.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
