So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
