My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
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