if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
