He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
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He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
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I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize