Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize