i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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