i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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