I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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