Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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