Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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