OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
