We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
