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  A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.

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• T9 is a beautiful thing. ^^

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 1:49pm

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• The fact you admitted it reinstates your man card.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 27, 09 at 9:42am

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• if he's been drunk sine 1 pm he must be stellar at drunk texting.. not a word is misspelled

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 1:45pm

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• maybe the person who submitted fixed the capitalisation and punctuation..coz that's written damn well for a drunk person

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 2:21am

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• I have perfect texts while drunk. I also have OCD and will spend an hour going back and fixing everything before I send it.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 1:49pm

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• yep just rip the thing up...you dont deserve a man card anymore :S

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 3:29pm

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• drunk since 1 p.m. and capitalized "Atheists".... impressive

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 3:59pm

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• Burn your man card!!!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 21, 09 at 7:48am

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• @ 1:05, i would love to "fuck edward cullen,"

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 2:49pm

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• ladies please, shimmer lotion doesn't stick everywhere and doesn't make you look like a drag queen like glitter does - let's get with it please?? and dude, you just became my fav person ever! haha! :-)

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 4:21pm

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  • I once knew a stripper who wore body glitter to work every single night because it would stick to guys and the ones lying to their wives about where they were would get caught. Bitch was crazy... but awesome.

    Submitted by exosus on Sep 19, 11 at 12:41pm

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• Best. Text. Ever. I love it. :)

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 10:41am

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• this sounds like a couple of my friends....

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 11:27pm

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• Omg you FAIL!!! (And I'm a girl!)

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 1:33pm

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• well, you definitely loose a handful of man points for that one. but since you've been drunk since 1 pm, we'll just put you on probation

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 2:46pm

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• i'm fourteen and i don't like glitter, haha. i haven't since i was like six. @ 1:54 i don't think glitter eyeliner is that bad, though.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 5:08pm

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• shoulda called no homo...

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 4:46pm

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• Edward fromthe book=okay, Edward from the movie= just stay home with the cats.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 2:22pm

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• Dude I'm 15, a girl and I loove the book twilight but that's a FAIL!! Your man card should be burned!!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 16, 09 at 7:05pm

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• mmm we could get along great!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 2:51pm

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• I'm impressed. Your drunk texting skills rival mine.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 9:41pm

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• i really think this guy is amazing. :)

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 5:13pm

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• SCRUBS REFERENCE!!!! Haha made my day right there

  Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 23, 10 at 12:03am

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• so true V

  Submitted by mackenziex143 on Feb 25, 10 at 11:17pm

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• Suboy you sure type pretty clearly for someone drinking since 1:00. What a tool. Thanks for nothing poser.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 10, 10 at 4:27pm

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• this is brilliant...

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 2:56pm

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• ahahahaha! I have tears from laughing so hard! This is great!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 13, 09 at 12:32am

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• 3:59, t9word is your friend. and i agree with whoever said probation, unless he was drinking something that wasn't beer.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 4:10pm

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• @ 1:54 well at least you know you want to be a stripper when you grow up

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 2:11pm

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• drunk texting requires nothing but a little practice, and from the looks of this you get three thumbs up.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 7:45pm

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• hahahahahahaha i mean...at least you know it dude...i'll give that to you

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 1:39pm

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• Glitter=stripper dust

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:58pm

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• 4.07 your a lucky man

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 28, 09 at 2:01am

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• @ 3:56 its not a scrubs reference dumb ass

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 5:16pm

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• @ 4:16 Go Demitri Martin!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 6:58pm

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• this is why i love and live in arizona

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 12, 09 at 2:20am

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• Amazing. If you are not one of my friends, you should be.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 9:13pm

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• i'm fourteen and i love glitter. especially glitter eyeliner, so.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:54pm

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• nice scrubs reference though, with the man card...

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 3:56pm

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• I'm a girl too and you should get your man card ripped up. Unless you're a 14 year old girl you should never be thinking about that ugly bastard. It's like little girls just need a jawline to be turned on. sheesh.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 1:38pm

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• Yes it is a Scrubs reference.... Dr. Cox gives JD 5 man cards in one episode and at the end Dr. Cox rips up his last man card!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 6:51pm

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• Who is Edward Cullen?

  Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 14, 09 at 4:07am

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• 301, glitter was NEVER ok. problem was, when the ALL the hot girls would wear it, you really had to abandon that stance or be forced to brown bag it. those were times that tried the hearts of man.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 3:03pm

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• @5:08 no worries, glitter eyeliner is miles away from being regular glitter. Glitter in general is slutwear for flashy young women across the globe...and it is generally worn in bulk. (and...i'm a young woman in this situation, so i know from direct surroundings)

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 7:49pm

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• i hate glitter, it sticks on you and everything around you for months. Its the herpes of craft supplies, and it lets everyone know who you have been snoging

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 4:16pm

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• hahahh. if that was a chick typing that about a guy i would totally relate to the edward part... only i don't really want my guy's wearing glitter. XD

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 2:54am

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  • It's actually "guys wearing glitter". And, Guys in glitter is fun. Live a little.

    Submitted by drapple on Aug 10, 11 at 7:14pm

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