I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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