I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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