I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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