he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
