I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
