Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
