Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
