Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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