Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
