I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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