You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
