Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
