are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
