I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
